First, a note from Kim: Today is a momentous day in the lives of the Olachea family. Our oldest son, Joe, III, and his wife, Christina, parents of three healthy, rollicking boys, are becoming the parents of our first granddaughter, Carys Lynn, who is scheduled to make her appearance today.

I thought this would be an appropriate day to share this article submitted by our son, Joe, III, for this month’s focus on Men of Integrity. From a young age, we knew that Joe was incredibly gifted as a writer. He thinks deeply on issues and is passionate about God and the study of theology. He has surprised us in his success as a full-time stay at home dad, and yet we are not surprised in his willingness to step out of what is considered typical to do what he believes God has called him to do. He is a talented and persuasive speaker and I am blessed and honored to be his mom. His Dad and I know that God is using his life in unexpected ways and we look forward to seeing the rewards of his faithfulness and service in the coming years. He desires to serve the Lord in some form of full-time ministry, and for the time being this means being a full-time dad to Carys Lynn, Joey, Cameron, and Ocean.

A Brother Wronged

by Joe Olachea, III

“A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.” -Proverbs 18:19

We are a people disconnected. With all the advances of technology and all the “progress” it seems we have become more and more incapable of building long term fulfilling relationships. I see this in my life. It’s easier to send someone a text or an online message than it is to give up the time, space, and money for a face to face visit. So we spend time on our phones, our computers, our tablets rather than doing the hard work of community. Most of the time, even when we are together in person we are not really together. Technology brings us many good things but, when it comes to the kind of community that Christians are called to be a part of, it seems mainly a distraction.

Our lack of connectedness is causing further deficits in productive communication. For millennia humans have worked out their problems by discussing them together in person. Even when using telephones or letters our conversations were not haphazard public discussions that anyone could comment on. They were personal, and when we were cruel or rude there were real and immediate consequences. Now with social media people give their opinions on everything. If you’ve ever taken the time to scroll through the comments section on a news story you know exactly what I mean. Without visible and immediate repercussions to our words, we seem to have lost the art of conversation. We have no filters. When someone’s offended or upset they launch into a verbal assault of almost anyone with a slightly opposing view. Of course those of us who follow Jesus (should) know better. The Apostle Paul in the book of Ephesians tells us not to “let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (4:29). Yet many of us fall in the same trap as others forgetting that online words can do as much damage as audible ones.

Right before his ascension, in what is known as the Great Commission, Jesus called his followers to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation” (Mark 16:15). One of our primary vocations as believers is to declare Jesus as the Messiah and Lord of the world, and to call others to come under his reign. Paul puts it this way in II Corinthians 5:16-20:

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

Our words matter and for those of us who follow Jesus this is even more true. We are pleading with the world to be reconciled to God. So, how we plead and how we speak will affect the way the message is perceived. The book of Proverbs is a profoundly real world book. With most of Scripture we have to do the hard work of interpretation and application. This is true of Proverbs many times also, but Proverbs packs punches of wisdom in short snippets. Though they may be difficult to practice, they are not usually difficult to understand. One verse seems especially relevant when speaking of the Christian message of reconciliation. Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.” Though this verse says “brother” it is applicable to any relationship. When we hurt or wrong others (in word or deed) it can cause them to build barriers of self-protection. Proverbs compares these barriers to both a citadel and a fortified city (basically the same thing); They are difficult to penetrate and end up shutting down communication. The way we communicate can do serious damage to the message we bring and cause our attempts to be ministers of reconciliation to fall on deaf ears.

Our faith should compel us to examine how we are communicating. Are we making issues out of non-issues? Are we burning bridges before others have heard our plea for reconciliation? Are we being like God and “not counting people’s sins against them”, or are we picking up stones with the crowd? Jesus Himself defended and loved the adulterer before telling her to “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11 – We usually forget there was a man involved with this whole act too, yet his sin was blatantly ignored by the religious to advance their agenda). In a world where division abounds, we are called to be a people who “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Instead of being an extra added call, this is integral to our proclamation of the Gospel. If Jesus is King, then we are under the law of love (Mark 12:30-31; John 13:34-35). Proverbs has something to add to the conversation: We must be careful not to offend those whom we are calling to be reconciled to God, lest they become fortified cities against the Gospel.  

Joe Olachea III has a Business Administration degree and a Biblical Studies degree from Cairn University. He lives in Frederica, DE with his wife, Christina, and their 3 boys, Ocean, Cameron, and Joey. Their newest addition, Carys (their first girl!), is due June 10^th (today). He speaks occasionally and enjoys writing. His blog can be found at http://godsfoolishness.blogspot.com.