Miraculous Marriage

Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Psalm 128:1-6 – Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord. May the Lord bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. May you live to see your children’s children—peace be on Israel.

Today we celebrate forty-three miraculous years of marriage, most joyful, sometimes difficult.

A few years ago, we were sitting in a Denny’s restaurant somewhere in Pennsylvania on the night of our anniversary. I don’t recall which anniversary exactly, but probably around the thirty-sixth. We were traveling for ministry meetings that week, and we had not yet had dinner, even though it was quite late. When the server came to our table, a conversation began, and we shared with her that it was our anniversary. She asked how long we had been married and we told her.

She was amazed and asked how we had done it. Spontaneously and simultaneously we emphatically replied, “GOD!”

As I reflect on the miraculous-ness of today, I am completely aware that the longevity of our marriage is not of us, but of God.  Being together forty-three years is a miracle for so many reasons.

First, the fact that we are both alive and well is a direct answer to prayer. Joe was diagnosed with a kidney disease at age twenty-one. The doctors told him that he would need a kidney transplant within a couple of years. When our oldest two children were very small, I suddenly realized the seriousness of the decision I had made to marry a man who had a chronic illness. I had only completed a couple years of college by the time we married, and I was in no position financially to provide for our children in the event of his illness or death. Not only would I not be able to provide financially, but I did also not want to raise these children alone!

So, what should I do? I prayed. Fervently, daily, hourly, until peace came, that God would allow us to raise our children together. God has done above and beyond all that I could ask or think! Our youngest child will be thirty this year, and God has allowed us, not only to raise our own children, but to see all of our five children married and now, we are able to be actively involved in the lives of our nine grandchildren.

Besides, the answer to my prayer and the continued health of my husband, several other factors could have and, statistically, should have led to divorce. As a child, I was abandoned by my parents. I am so thankful for my grandparents who stepped in to care for my sister and I. Because of their commitment, love, and faith, the Lord graciously protected our hearts and lives during our formative years. The saga continued beyond the abandonment in early childhood at the home of a babysitter. One parent had mental health issues, and my parents divorced soon after. Eventually, we moved back to live with my mother, who had re-married. My step-father was good to us, but the marriage was turbulent and ended in my young adult years. Statistically speaking, abandonment, divorce of parents, and instability at home result in an extremely high rate of divorce for children coming out of these circumstances.

Additionally, there are other factors that reduced the likelihood of a successful, happy, secure marriage. These factors, present in our marriage include marrying at a young age, ADHD , the death of a child, financial stress, ministry life, and cultural acceptance of divorce, all contribute to a high likelihood of divorce.

But one powerful factor has the ability to nullify all of the other reasons for the failure of a marriage. That is the God-Factor.  He changes everything! He makes us new creations, filled with and empowered by the Holy Spirit of God to live transformed lives filled with joy, love, and peace.

There was a young rich man who could not bring himself to give up his wealth to follow Jesus. Jesus told his disciples it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God. In our life together, statistics tell us that we should never had made it this far together. But Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 10:20-26)

How did we make it to forty-three years of marriage, still in love, happy to be together? We answer simultaneously and spontaneously, “GOD!”