It’s All Good…

“It’s all good, until it’s not,” commented my friend regarding the reality of church ministry. In my mind, I thought, “This has got to be the title of my first book!”
We were newbies with a big vision, no experience, and little if any knowledge and understanding of pastoral ministry. We knew that God was going to use us in a great way in this little, rural mill town. It was all good. God literally opened this door for us as we stepped out of teaching school and stepped into the doors of pastoral ministry in this small-town church. We were certain that God was confirming His plan for us as we took this step of faith and obedience to His call. Everyone was nice, and they liked us. The people complemented my husband’s preaching, asked me to play the piano, and loved on our babies. Life was good…until it wasn’t.

A situation arose that put my young pastor husband in a very difficult position. In hindsight, after thirty-five years of ministry experience, we would have handled the situation very differently. But at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I have since learned that there are rarely only two choices. Somewhere in between there are usually other options to guide people toward better, more biblical solutions. In this situation, one family wanted to talk to us about something that had happened, and they didn’t want anyone else to know. It involved another family (church leaders and personal friends of ours). Basically, we were sworn to secrecy. I know…there are several “red flags” and “we should have known’s” that come to mind.
We kept that confidence at a very high cost. Ultimately the truth did come out, as it always does. The un-informed family felt betrayed and blamed us. Sadly, it deeply affected the church over the next year and personally drained our family emotionally and spiritually. The people who had been friends turned against us, and it was hard and lonely. Those friends would not look at us or speak to us for the next year. They were very angry, and we were very hurt. No one in the church stepped in to help. Most people just avoided us. It was one of the most painful seasons of my life as a pastor’s wife.

Through that first excruciatingly painful ministry experience and many other difficult seasons of ministry that would come, we learned wisdom in loving and serving God’s people in better and more productive ways. We learned that suffering produces character. We learned that anger and bitterness will destroy us if we don’t let go of them. We learned the importance of forgiveness. We learned the imperative of perseverance in the life of the follower of Jesus, especially those of us in ministry and leadership positions.

After all these years I can say, “It’s all good” because God uses the “until it’s not” times to conform us to the image of His Son.

The desire of the righteous is only good,…Proverbs 11:23