First, A Note from Kim:

If you missed yesterday’s post, In Honor of My Like-A-Sister Friend, I hope you will go back and read it. Susan is my like-a-sister friend, who I have known for about 25 years, but I learned something about her when I was putting her article up to be published. I had no idea that she has been blogging since 2008.  She is a talented writer, speaker, and educator. She has a great sense of humor and is an accomplished actress, playing Mother Abbess in the Sound of Music at Baptist High School, among other things, where she taught English for several years. She is an amazing woman of faith and courage. Enjoy reading this article Susan wrote, nominating a woman of wisdom who made a difference in Susan’s life as young teenager. 

When Time and Love are all that are needed to make a difference…

by Susan Ford

This is the face of a woman of wisdom.  This is Jo Daughtery. The picture was taken when Jo was 77 years young and still living exactly where I last saw her over 40 years ago.

The weekend I traveled back to Fallbrook, California for my reunion, I took a chance and went by the church that had given me sanctuary during my teen years. Then just for fun I drove to the home of my former youth leaders. Ted and Jo had three girls of their own, yet always had room for twenty or thirty teenagers. Ted was a military enlisted man and he and Jo had dedicated themselves to be the VOLUNTEER youth leaders at the little Baptist church I attended. I knew that Ted had passed away many years ago, but I wondered if …

I wondered if Jo might possibly still be there, would the house be there? I found the house from memory and parked. As I was getting ready to walk up to the door, a small woman appeared and asked if she could help me. I told her that she had already helped me long ago and I told her my maiden name! Jo was so happy to see me and I was of course thrilled to see her. I just wanted her to know she had made a difference in my life.

She and Ted were just there for us. Their house was always open to us. It was a simple home, yet always and still spotless but comfortable. These amazing selfless servants fed us, fussed at us, drove us, let us play Twister in their living room, they prayed for us, protected us, stood up for us, and just loved us. Loved us when we were not so lovable. They trained us by their example. They gave so much and I just wanted her to know!

Thank you Jo… much of who I am today I owe to you and Ted and a church willing to love a little girl from a less than stable background. Willing to give me rides, since I often came to church alone, willing to make sure I had something to add to potluck dinners so I wouldn’t feel “weird”, willing to listen, willing to pay my way to Christian camp in Glorietta, New Mexico where I became a Christian. Willing, available, and loving. Thank You Jo!

I nominate Jo Daughtery as my Woman of Wisdom

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart!

Susan is an educator, mother of five amazing grown adults, grandmother to nine precious grandbabies, mother-in-law to four great sons-in-law, contented wife of a wonderful husband and friend.

Some things Susan loves: reading, walking, biking, visiting historical places, grandchildren, horseback riding lessons, and the beach. 

Some of Susan’s favorite books: Radical by David Platt, Any book by Lisa Samson, Everything by C.S Lewis, Everything by Amy Carmichael, Anything written by or about Lilias Trotter, All of the works of Madeleine L’Engle, books, books and more books. 

Visit NC A Place to Call Home to read Susan’s blogs and learn more.

Susan 1954 Miami

Kim 1965 Miami

            In Honor of My Like-A-Sister Friend, Susan

Sometimes, I think Susan and I are more sisters than just friends, even though we come from a different set of parents. We both lived in south FL as little girls (about a decades’ difference in time yet only a few miles apart in distance.)  Our moms were both nurses with a lot of personal struggles. We were both abandoned with a babysitter as young children. I lived with my grandparents for a year or so. Susan with an older couple who loved her like their own for five years. We both lived in NC (about a decade apart) when we were about twelve years old.

Kim 1963

Susan 1952

Susan with Santa

Kim with Santa

We never met as kids. But when our kids were young. about twenty-five years ago, we were both homeschooling and one day we decided to take the kids ice-skating (that was gym and a field trip combined. Hahaha!) I think we talked for three hours while the kids skated. Between us we have ten children -five each!

We worked together for two separate ministries. First, at Shadyrest Bible Church, Susan was my husband’s secretary and the office administrator. I was the camp director. We were complete opposites in many ways. Kind of funny that she did the bookkeeping in the office, and I was directing the camp. I was the math person. She was the creative one. Susan was funny. I was serious.  It worked well for camp entertainment as I attempted to “seriously” present the camp to adults while she played “Susie Camper” and “Grandpa Snazzy” at various events. We were definitely a team. I took care of the program details. She made it fun!

Susan and Kim today – New Bern, NC, circa 2013

After working at Camp Shadyrest with both our kids growing up there first as campers then as counselors, we both taught high school at Baptist High in Haddon Heights, NJ. Susan taught English. I taught accounting. If I remember correctly she started teaching one year before me and then left one year before me. Susan and her husband, Garey, attended both of the churches in NJ where my husband has served as pastor. They led our worship in both churches, and Garey taught my kids a lot about playing music with a band. A few years ago, Garey and Susan moved to NC. I felt like I lost my like-a-sister friend..but you don’t lose friends who are like-a-sister friends. Susan and I have remained close through the years in spite of the miles that separate us. I miss getting together for lunch, serving in ministry together, girl talks late into the night at conferences, and having Susan in the same town only a few miles away. I miss our Cape May weekends with some other very special like-a-sister friends, Carol, Lisa, and Marcia.

I won’t even attempt to explain Susan’s acting abilities at the Thomas Kinkade Gallery in Cape May, or Lisa’s “tattoo”, or the Dorito’s incident at Sunset Beach. I miss having Susan close by when I need  a friend to talk to. In reality though, nothing hasn’t really changed. Susan continues to be a faithful friend across the miles. We have laughed together, cried together, prayed for each other’s kids. In fact, I think we spend more “quality” time together now than when we lived in the same town. We’ve had some fun times visiting each other over the past few years, including my daughter’s wedding, her daughter’s baby shower, a “quiet” day at the beach, when the city of Ventnor decided to use heavy equipment to rebuild the shore line on the only day we had to go to the beach! We managed to talk above the noise!

Oh, yes, visiting Nicholas Sparks‘ hometown, in New Bern, NC, where we walked into the quaint historic Mitchell Hardware store, missing Sparks’ wife by only a few minutes. We also visited some incredible historical sites including Christ Church and the Birthplace of Pepsi Cola.

The last time Susan visited NJ, after eating lunch at Zoe’s we just had to stop at Carlo’s Bakery for lobster claws. We both ordered two desserts, since we wanted the lobster claws but wanted something else, too, making our dessert more expensive than our lunch! We ate half  of each dessert at the bakery. Came home, talked, talked, talked…then made some coffee and proceeded to finish our second dessert…Then we talked some more.

I love this very special lady, my very close like-a-sister friend.  I am so blessed to have Susan in my life. If you have a forever friend that is more like a sister than just a friend, you, too, are indeed blessed! Take a few minutes to thank God for her and pray for her today. Then, post a comment letting us know how special she is to you!

Tomorrow, we will see Susan’s nomination for a Woman of Wisdom, who made a difference in her young life, when her family moved to CA.

First, a note from Kim:

Elisa Vazquez is a gifted speaker and author of Smellin’ Good OR STINKIN’ BAD ?.  She is also a wise godly counselor, but above all she is a faithful prayer warrior and student of God’s Word. Elisa and I met at America’s Keswick’s Pastors’ Conference about ten years ago. I began to understand her intimate relationship with God through prayer and His Word during those “optional” prayer times for women during the conference. Elisa is faithful in participating in these times and her prayers are rich and eloquent, filled with Scripture and based on the promises of God’s Word. But the real evidence of her prayer life becomes obvious when we meet again the following year. Elisa will say, “How is ______________? I’ve been praying for her/him/that situation.” She doesn’t just pray at the conference. She writes it down and continues to faithfully pray even when she goes home. I recently learned that Elisa spends every Thursday in prayer – all day! She meets online or by phone with several women around the country and they pray – all day! This is the power behind her life and her ministry. If you ask Elisa to pray for you, she prays for you! And she prays using the promises of God, His Word, that bring hope and increase our faith. Because of Elisa’s example, I was challenged to schedule a day of prayer each month, and this is changing my life and ministry! I love this woman of faith and wisdom and immensely value her friendship and counsel.  

I hope you will not only take time to read Elisa’s article, but will also get a copy of her book and learn more about her amazing story!

If You Faint

by Elisa Vazquez

“If you faint [lose heart, despair, or fall apart] in the day of adversity [trouble, anguish, affliction, distress] your strength is small [narrow]” (Proverbs 24:10, NKJV).

“If you fall apart during a crisis, then you weren’t very strong to begin with” (The Voice).

Are you agonizing over a crisis right now—a crisis over which you have absolutely no control?  Perhaps it’s a wayward son or daughter, a seemingly insurmountable toxic addiction or habit, a crushing financial burden, or an incurable disease. You find yourself trapped in an emotional cul-de-sac—a dead-end street.  You’re feeling spiritually drained—powerless to fix the problem. Deep in your heart there’s the nagging question, “How do I keep from giving up—throwing in the towel—when everything around me is falling apart— crumbling?”

Wait!  Before you surrender to discouragement and abandon all hope, listen to the following story.

For several years I have been doing a Bible Study in a nursing home.  Not all of the residents who come to the study are elderly.

Michael is a young man (I would guess in his late forties), who never misses a Bible study.  He always shows up on time, and is the last to leave.

Michael has multiple sclerosis—a complex neurological, debilitating and crippling disease of the central nervous system, which causes muscular weakness and loss of coordination and speech.  He is confined to a wheelchair, and oftentimes struggles to maintain an upright posture.

Michael has a beautiful, infectious smile, and he radiates the love of Christ, in both his words and actions. Now what makes him so special—such a beautiful human being—is that although his body is wasting away as a result of his terrible, debilitating sickness, he is always positive and joyful, and never misses an opportunity to encourage others.

It has become my practice, after each Bible study, to pray for the individual needs of the attendees. I always leave Michael for last, because when I finish praying for him, he then takes my hand and prays God’s blessing over me.  What a privilege and honor it has been for me!

A few months ago, I asked those who were present in the Bible study, “If God were to say to you, ‘Today I will grant you just one special petition.’  What would you ask for?”

One person said “I would ask Him for my healing.”  Another said, “I want to go home to be with my family.”  An elderly woman, whose relationship with her daughter had been severed because of past misunderstandings and deep hurts, discouragingly expressed that she deeply desired a visit from her daughter.

I then turned to Michael and asked, “What’s your special petition—your greatest desire?  What do you want God to do for you?”

I expected Michael’s response to be, “I want God to heal me of this crippling disease.” I was dead wrong!  He turned to me with a radiant smile and said, “I desire more than anything for God to fill my heart with His limitless, unconditional love for others. I want to serve Him more passionately.  I want my life to honor and glorify Him?”

I was impacted and humbled by his response.  There was a sudden hush in the room.  All eyes were on Michael. . . .

Later that day, as I pondered his profoundly meaningful words, I thought to myself, “The dreadful, debilitating illness of multiple sclerosis has crippled Michael’s physical body, but not his spirit!” In spite of his painful affliction, from the depth of his heart emanates a melodious song of pure praise to his Creator. What an an amazing inspiration this young man is to me, and everyone who knows him!

Again, we reflect on Solomon’s words:   “If you faint [lose heart, or despair] in the day of adversity [trouble, anguish, affliction, distress] your strength is small” (Proverbs 24:10).

When we are going through the unrelenting, violent storms of life, the secret to not fainting, or succumbing to discouragement, hopelessness, and despair, is found in fixing our eyes on the Lord; that is, putting our total trust in Him, who is our refuge,  our comforter, our strength, our helper—a very present help in time of trouble.

Michael has learned the secret of contentment in the midst of anguish, distress, despair, sorrow and pain: His eyes are focused on the One who will keep him from becoming fainthearted—from despairing—from giving up.  His soul is firmly anchored in Jesus, from whom he draws his spiritual strength and vitality daily.

To prevent our strength from being small, or narrow, we must obey the Apostle Paul’s injunction to be strong, not in our own strength, but in the strength and power of the Lord  (Ephesians 6: 10).

You see, it is the Lord who arms us with strength for our daily, fierce battles (Psalm 18:32, 39).  It is He who gives us power when we’re fainthearted, and when we have no might—when we are weak and weary— He increases our strength” (Isaiah 40:29 ).  He declares to us, “In quietness and [utter] confidence [trust in me] shall be your strength.”

It is crystal clear in God’s Word, that we rise above life’s disappointments and all life’s adverse circumstances, by keeping our minds and eyes focused on the Lord; that is, by utterly trusting Him. That’s why the writer of Hebrews exhorts us, “keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners, then you won’t get discouraged and give up” (Hebrews 12:3, CEV).

David, who was acquainted with heartache and sorrow, said in a moment of great anguish, “I would have lost heart [despaired], unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13, NKJV).  It was because this Shepherd-King trusted wholeheartedly in “the goodness of the Lord,” that he did not lose heart in times of anguish and despair.

Again, I ask, “Do you feel fainthearted—feel like you’re going to fall apart in your crisis?”  Then listen to David’s words of encouragement and reassurance for you today: “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14).

David’s words are reinforced by the prophet Isaiah who says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31, NKJV).

We see clearly, then, that waiting on, and utterly trusting in the Lord in the midst of our crises, is the key to being filled with joy, peace, spiritual strength and assurance. David, once again reassures us that, “The LORD gives strength to his people; [and he] blesses his people with peace” (Psalm 29:11, NIV).

So I repeat.  Before you give in to discouragement, let the Lord strengthen your heart, and renew your spirit.  Receive His gift of peace as He gently whispers to you:

“Fear not, for I am with you [in your crisis]. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10, NKJV).

Our heavenly Father promises:  “I will strengthen you . . . . “  He is faithful to His promises!

Elisa Vazquez is a conference speaker and teacher of the Word. She obtained a Bachelor of Arts Degree from the College of New Rochelle in New York City, and a Master’s Degree in Biblical Studies and Theology from Regent University in Virginia Beach, Va. Elisa was recognized and honored by inclusion in the Who’s Who in American Christian Leadership, 1989 Edition. As an ordained American Baptist Minister, she served three years as Associate Pastor at Central Baptist Church in Brooklyn, NY and eleven years as Senior Pastor at Christ the King Baptist Church in Queens, NY. Elisa faithfully leads a Bible study in a Jewish nursing home facility and was most recently inducted into the Ordination Council for the American Baptist Churches of Metro NY.  Elisa is the author of Smellin’ Good or Stinkin’ Bad: What is your scent? (available online at Amazon and Barnes & Nobles)

A note from Kim: Dr. Jim O’Neill was a familiar name around our house, as Dr. Jim was my husband’s missions professor at Liberty University while he was working on his master’s degree. Dr. O’Neill’s teaching, during a summer intensive course filled with international students, made a huge impact on my husband’s life and ministry. I finally had the opportunity to meet Jim and Sterling at a Crossworld banquet in Bala Cynwyd, PA, back in the 90’s. Dr. Jim served as the director of this mission for thirteen years, during which time, Crossworld purchased several missionary cottages in Ventnor, NJ, from a very old mission Baptist mission, the Pennsylvania Medical Missionary Society. Because our family had the privilege of spending a week or two each year at these homes in Ventnor when our children were growing up, our paths crossed with the O’Neill’s occasionally, as both of our families vacationed here. More recently, we have had the opportunity to get to know Jim and Sterling on a more personal level through ABWE and other ministry connections. Of course, meeting at Starbucks has been a favorite place to get together.Sterling and I have in common a love for writing and a desire to minister to pastors’ and missionary wives in their journeys. We are at similar stages of life, each with many years of ministry experience. We have young adult children and grandchildren, and continue to be actively involved with our husbands in ministry together. Sterling is an amazing woman of faith, a virtuous wife and mother, who is to be praised. “Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also…praises her!” (Proverbs 31:28)

Her Children Rise Up and Call Her Blessed

(A Mother’s Love Expressed and A Young Man’s Journey)

Story Behind the Poem (Below)

by Sterling O’Neill

28 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”
²⁹ “Many women have done excellent but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:28,30,31 ESV)

I wrote “They Shall Rise Up and Call Her Blessed” Poem below, February 2009. Shane would soon turn 19, not knowing what life would bring him. We had seen 9 of his friends die of drug related overdoses, and Shane was on chemicals himself. However, in December 2009 Shane came to know the Lord as his personal Savior. Shane is soon to be 26 and has been drug-free for 5 years now.

My son loves poetry. The year Shane was in his senior year of high school I wrote this poem for him. After his graduation in June we moved to Tennessee, leaving him in Pennsylvania, where he would finally be making all his own choices. Leaving him behind was tough love and it hurt. It was like my life, as a mom would be ending. I was releasing my son to God to do with Him what he wanted. Continue reading