Lori began attending a Bible study that I was leading at our church about ten years ago. She was already a member of Lakes Community Chapel, but it was through this study that Lori and I became friends. During that time, I began to sense that the Lord wanted me to find another lady to assist me in leading the Bible study and then to hand over at some point in the future. It didn’t make sense at the time, as the study was just taking off and growing, and I loved what I was doing. But during this same time, the Lord was burdening Lori toward serving in some capacity in women’s ministry. We met one day for lunch and Lori shared her heart and how God was working in her. And that is how it started.

“Oh, I’m So Proud of You!” by Lori Saiia

Often those words are uttered in what would seem an innocent compliment.  But what does the Bible have to say about pride?  One verse that often comes to mind is Proverbs 16:18 which says “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”   What a humbling thought!  Pride can cause many problems and often, we don’t even see our own heart before that fall comes.

There are several words in the Bible translated in both the Hebrew and the Greek as “pride.”  Quite honestly, none of them expresses a very appealing meaning!  For instance the words for pride may be translated as arrogance, excellency, majesty, pomp, haughtiness, highness, to soar and raise up on a mount.  Psalm 73:6 describes those who wear pride as a necklace and violence as a garment.  Not the most attractive fashion statement!  No matter how it’s translated, in the Old Testament, pride always seems to carry a negative connotation, as a type of attitude against God.  The New Testament talks about the proud as being filled with smoke and inflated with self-conceit (1 Tim 3:6).  There too, we are warned against this destructive attitude.

Both the Hebrew and Greek words confer the idea of self-aggrandizement, in general to rise up and see oneself as majestic.  Often the idea is of insolence, or arrogance, a self-exaltation. In other words, we see ourselves as something pretty amazing!   When we are filled with pride, we’ve squeezed God out.  There’s no room for Him – “I” and “me” takes up all the space!  Job uses the word to describe the mighty beast Leviathan.  “His scales are his pride, shut up together with a close seal.” (Job 41:15).  Seems like a great way to image what pride does to us.   We wear it like armor and it seals us up inside our own thoughts and images of how great we think we are.

Psalm 10:4 sums it up rather nicely, “In all his scheming, the wicked arrogantly thinks: “There is no accountability, since God does not exist.”  That word, “arrogantly” is translated in the beauty of the King James as “the pride of his countenance.”  I think we’ve all see that look on someone’s face …. And it’s never good!

We must then ask, “How does the Lord view such self-importance and outward boasting?”   If we think about this attitude and demeanor, it is the antithesis of our beautifully humble Lord Jesus.   When we look at pride as it relates to “self,” it becomes an issue of the heart.  In Mark 7:22 Jesus tells us that what comes out of our mouths really gives away what is on the inside in our hearts.  That is what defiles a person.   As Proverbs 1:7 says “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”  In view of that knowledge and understanding, pride becomes the polar opposite frame of mind.  Fear of the Lord lifts our focus to God.  We see His majesty, His Love and His Grace; pride keeps the focus on “Me!”

The Expositor’s Bible says “to remove the idea of God is to destroy the key of knowledge and to make any consistent scheme of thought impossible.”  This is true folly!  Apart from recognizing and acknowledging God, we cannot see the truth, and pride seems just the vehicle to keep us blind.  But the fear of the Lord brings us outside of ourselves.  It makes us look up to His majesty and His Grace, not our own self-imposed importance.   Pride is always having to be right no matter what lies in shambles around you when you’re done.  The “fear of the Lord” is wisdom and knowledge, and that is what leads us to exemplify Jesus.

Lori Saiia is married and has two young adult children.  She lives in Tabernacle,NJ, and has been attending Lakes Community Chapel for many years.  She feels strongly about the “Titus 2” mentoring of women-to-women and feels it is by the love, encouragement and discipleship of other mature Christian woman that she has been able to grow in the Lord. Lori delights in studying the Word of God and enjoys sharing that love of the Word through Ladies Bible Studies at Lakes Community Chapel in Medford, NJ.

I met Lois Taylor many years ago at America’s Keswick Pastor’s Conference in Whiting, NJ. Lois and her husband have endured some very difficult trials in their lives, yet they have remained faithful to God and His calling on their lives. I am extremely blessed to know this dear lady, who is indeed a woman of wisdom. I am sure that you will be encouraged by her words of wisdom and her sweet and humble spirit.

The Power of the Tongue by Lois Taylor

God blessed me with a mentor right in my home as I grew up. My mother was a Godly woman.  She loved the Lord, with her heart, soul, and mind. She was a woman of prayer and God’s Word was her companion. It is because of her example lived before me, that as a teen I decided my goal was to become the Godly woman described in I Peter 3:3-4, “Beauty should not be from outward adornment….Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

As a youth I had trouble with my tongue, it could be sharp, cutting, and hurtful.  Mom would send me to my room to read the book of James. I learned the power of a tongue (James 3:1-12). Its power can be as dangerous as a spark that starts a raging forest fire or its power can be used to gently steer a stallion.   Just as a rudder can steer a ship into safety or danger, a spoken word can bring trust or distrust, forgiveness or bitterness, peace or anxiety.

Proverbs has much to say about the tongue. One of my favorites is “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” Proverbs 25:11 (NASV). Since my kitchen decor is apples, my husband and I have talked about having those words traced on our wall. As precious as silver and gold are, words coming from Godly wisdom are even more precious. In Proverbs 8, wisdom speaks: worthy things, what is right, true and just. Wisdom gives instruction and knowledge which is to be valued and chosen over gold or silver and it becomes the well from which our words spring.

Proverbs 18:21 tells us “the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” The meaning of those words puzzled me. Psalms 52:1-4 aids with the explanation. “The tongue which plots destruction is like a sharpened razor, it speaks harmfully and deceitfully and will be brought to everlasting ruin.” That ruin is death, which is the fruit of a destructive tongue.

In contrast to that, Proverbs 13:3a says that “He who guards his mouth, guards his life.” Proverbs 15:4a calls a wholesome tongue a tree of life. While the fruit of loving an evil tongue is destruction, the fruit of a loving, gentle, wise tongue is life and health. (Proverbs 12:18b)

Further in chapter 25 of Proverbs we read these words, (11) “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone. Honestly the first time I read that verse while working on this writing, I skimmed over the word gentle. Instead I read it as “the hurtful tongue could break a bone.” In that negative context the saying we yelled as kids came to mind. “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” I do not know the source of those words; I think some parent thought it was a way of giving their child an alternative to handling a situation without a fist fight. But there is no truth to the words, “names can never hurt me.” I know how hurtful name calling was when I was a child. To this day I cringe when I think of some of the names I was called. In reality the tongue can be emotionally and mentally very hurtful. The pain can be as painful as the physical pain of a broken bone.

If that verse had said an evil tongue, that would have been a good explanation.  But, that is not how the verse reads. It says “a gentle tongue could break a bone.” Wow! Think on those words – a gentle tongue can break a bone. I don’t think Solomon really meant the tongue can break an actual bone, but that it has the same power that it takes to break a bone. That is awesome to me. To realize the tool we have in our hands, or rather our mouths, is as powerful as that which breaks bones, makes me awed at the responsibility to speak words that are “aptly spoken fit to be in a setting of silver and gold.”

Remember Mom saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it at all?” I love the fact that it is right here in Proverbs 30:32. “If you have played the fool and exalted yourself, or if you have planned evil, clap your hand over your mouth!” How I wish I would do that more often. Too often the words come out and I cannot take them back.

My Mom, my Godly mentor, had kind words; she generally spoke softly and used her words wisely. In wisdom she rebuked, corrected, instructed, and encouraged. When I was about 12, Mom was teaching the 4 and 5 year old Sunday school class. She told them how kind, compassionate and loving Jesus was. One of her students looked up at her and said, “Are you Jesus?” How powerful for a woman of God to have their spoken words be such that they reflect the kindness and heart of Jesus. My prayer is that as women of God, in this generation, we will display the power of the wise tongue, and its fruit will be life to reflect Jesus, the giver of life.

Lois Taylor grew up in a pastor’s family of five children in northern Vermont. She graduated from PCB, now called Cairn University, in Philadelphia, with Bachelor degrees in Bible and social work. She and her husband, Gary, serve at First Baptist Church in Morrisville, PA, where Gary is lead pastor. They will celebrate 38 years of marriage this July. They are blessed with five children ages 23 and up, one daughter-in-law, two sons-in-law, one granddaughter and one expected grandchild. Lois home schooled four of their five children through high school. Their Down syndrome son (23) lives with them, enriching their lives daily. Lois oversees an older brother’s care, while he lives in a nursing home in Vermont, and her 92 year old Dad who lives in Morrisville close to their home. In 2006, Gary and Lois experienced a very traumatic life changing event when their oldest son, a senior in college, suffered an anorexic brain injury due to a heart attack, while playing soccer. Her desire is to help others see that God has given a manual for life in His Word no matter what the situation or circumstances.

Proverbs 31:16, 18, & 24, 27 – She considers a field and buys it; from her own income she plants a vineyard…She knows that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out in the night…She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies merchants with sashes…She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Where did anyone get the idea that women should not work outside the home? Today, we honor working moms, who are doing what they need to do to provide for their families. Working outside the home does not mean we have an excuse for poor parenting or wrong priorities. Working in a career or business outside the home does not nullify the commands of Scripture. Our most important assignment and priority from God is our families. We are to respect our husbands and to submit to their authority, even as the church is to submit to Christ’s authority. (Ephesians 5:22-23) We are to “train up our children in the way they should go…” (Proverbs 22:6) We are to love our husbands, love our children, and take care of our homes. The older women are to be examples, teachers of good things, teaching the younger women to love their husbands and children. (Titus 2:3-4). But let us be wise women, not condemning others or failing to recognize that “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (I Timothy 3:16) – That includes the Biblical roles and responsibilities of women throughout history.

We have examples of wise, educated, industrious women all over Scripture. Women who are leaders like Deborah, a Jewish judge, prophetess, and military leader (Judges 4) and Queen Esther who uncovered the deadly plot of Haman and saved the lives of her people (The Book of Esther). Women like Lydia, a wealthy business owner, who was also a disciple and helped to plant the church at Philippi, opening her own home as a meeting place. (Acts 16) There is Achsah, Caleb’s daughter, who requested to hold land in her own name, like her brothers (Joshua 15:13-19), and it was given to her by her father. Ruth gleaned from the fields of Boaz to provide food for herself and her beloved mother-in-law. (Ruth 1-4) Philip’s daughters were prophetesses. (Acts 21:9) And Priscilla worked alongside her husband and the apostle Paul as a tentmaker, while serving with both of them in ministry.

Paul instructs the church in Romans 16:1-2 regarding Phoebe, “I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.” Huldah’s advice was respected and followed by King Josiah and his representatives. She “was clearly the king’s first choice when seeking to know God’s will.” (Richards, Sue Poorman and Richards, Lawrence O., Women of the Bible, 2003, p. 90-91)

Dear working moms who love the Lord Jesus and love your family, do not let anyone condemn you. YOU are to be honored as great women of faith, just as the women of Scripture named above. You are not lazy nor do you “eat the bread of idleness”, but instead you look out for “the needs of your household”. I know that at times you feel you are too exhausted to go on, because your “lamp does not go out at night.” (Proverbs 31) You continue to love and serve your family every day, and honor your Lord through your service to Him and your diligence and hard work. May the Lord richly bless you and give you strength, grace, and peace today.

In Honor of My Grandma, Willie Mae Callicutt Woodard

Born, October 3, 1918- Entered Life Eternal with Jesus, April 21, 2011

The Apostle Paul described himself as one being “born out of due time.” (I Corinthians 15:7-8, KJV) Paul was named as an apostle because He saw the risen Christ in person. However, he did not see Christ during His time on earth, but after Christ’s ascension. And Paul, at that time Saul, did not believe in Jesus as Messiah until after the time of Christ’s earthly ministry (Acts 1:1-3). It was following Jesus’ death, burial, resurrection, described in Acts 13:26-32, and after His ascension in Acts 1:9. That is why Paul labeled himself as having an “untimely birth”, “born out of due time.” I would have to say that Willie Mae Callicutt Woodard, my own Grandma, and called “Grandma” by all who knew and loved her, was a woman born out of due time. Paul was born a little late for becoming an apostle. Grandma was born a little before her time.

Willie Mae Callicutt was born October 3, 1918, to a poor farming family in North Carolina. She was the ninth of fourteen children in the family. In high school, Grandma participated in school plays, sang a solo, and played basketball, wearing a uniform made by her mother. At first her father was unaware of her participation in these activities, as he did not think girls were supposed to do such things. Grandma was afraid he would not let her be involved in these extra-curricular goings-on, and her fear almost overcame her when she started to sing her solo and looked up to see her dad standing at the back of the room. After that he did not stop her from pursuing her dreams and goals.

Grandma was born at a time when girls were supposed to grow up, get married, and raise children, which she did. However, she also went back to school and earned her nursing degree while raising her children. At one point in her life, she drove up and down the east coast alone, delivering orphan babies to adopted families. She worked full time, not common in her day, out of sheer necessity to put food on the table. My grandfather was a country preacher and didn’t make enough for the family to survive. During the time the girls were small, he went on the road as a truck driver and was gone for long periods of time, while Grandma was left to take care of the children and work to provide for the needs of the family.

Grandma was an incredibly COURAGEOUS woman. One afternoon when she was at home alone with her little girls, washing dishes while my aunt sat at the kitchen table doing homework and my mom was in the high chair, the screen door suddenly opened. Into the kitchen stepped a large, scary man. My grandmother reached into the soapy dishwater and pulled out a large butcher knife (which just “happened” to be in the sink). She turned around, knife in hand, and quietly but firmly said, “Now you just need to turn around and step outside.” He did!

Another time my Grandma was managing a little ice-cream shop in the small town where they lived. A little boy had come in one day and left his toy gun in the store. Grandma put it behind the counter to save for him if he came looking for it. Now a toy gun back then could easily be mistaken for a real gun, as these were made of heavy metal and painted black to look like real guns. Later that afternoon, it “just so happened” that a man walked in to rob the store. He demanded the money from the cash register. Instead of getting the money, my Grandma pulled out that toy gun, pointed it at the man, and told him he had better get himself out of the store immediately. He turned around and ran!

My Grandma was not only brave, she was CRAFTY. I don’t mean crafty in a bad way. She just loved to make things. This amazing lady sewed all kinds of things from clothing to pillows and wonderful little “grandma” bags as we call them. I still have a whole collection of these bags made from scraps of material she saved. The bags have handles which come in handy (no pun intended) and can be used for travel to carry shoes and other personal items. I’ve used them as small diaper bags, carried assortments of children’s toys for entertaining little ones, and used some for gift bags.

Grandma also made truckloads of quilts and baby blankets, which are much cherished by our family and others who received her gracious gifts of love. She never sold anything she made, although we tried to convince her that she could really make some money at craft fairs and other venues. She told us she just loved to make things, and she loved to give them away. She just wasn’t interested in making money. All of her work was a labor of love. She also crocheted and did her best to teach all of her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren how to crochet. Unfortunately, none of us granddaughters ever became proficient. I always say it skipped our generation, as most of our girls became quite adept at crocheting.

One special memory for my children and my nieces and nephews is knowing that whenever you went to Grandma’s house she would have lots of crafts ready to make with the kids. From wooden sticks and painting to bead projects and embroidery, there was never a shortage of things to do. Besides all of the craft projects and teaching us how to sew and crochet, Grandma taught all of her grandchildren how to fish, how to swim, and how to drive. So many special memories of my incredible Grandma!

There were two things that my Grandma did not tolerate. Those were whining and bickering. I will always remember her warnings, “If you girls don’t stop that, I’m gonna jerk a knot in you!” I never did know exactly what “jerking a knot in you” meant, but I knew she meant what she said and I listened and obeyed! Grandma herself never, ever complained. She was a marvelous example of grace and kindness, a woman of wisdom, faith, and noble character.

Grandma was AN AMAZING COOK who treated her grandchildren like royalty when we came to her house. Before she got sick, it seemed like she was constantly preparing something scrumptious for us to eat. She would fix bacon and eggs and biscuits for breakfast. She would wait on us hand and foot, letting us eat on TV trays watching cartoons, bringing us refills on our drinks, and serving us whatever we wanted. Then, after cleaning up, it wouldn’t be long until she would say something like, “Well, it’s about time to start fixin’ some lunch. Aren’t y’all getting hungry?” I suspect that if you ask all of the grandchildren what was their favorite thing made by Grandma, we would all say her fried apple pies (and maybe her famous homemade biscuits). You might think we were all spoiled rotten, which we were, but somehow through her attitude of serving others, she taught us how to serve. How to be like Jesus.

Grandma used to take us shopping every time we visited her. As long as she was healthy and had a little money, she would take us to the mall, usually to shop at Dillard’s or Peebles. She would say, “Now I want you to pick out an outfit for yourself.” Then, she would take my kids with her and they would go and pick out “an outfit” for themselves.  And there always had to be a day to go to Walmart, where she would buy the children “a little something”. Grandma showed us how much she loved us by her generosity, just as God showed us His love “according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us”. My Grandma freely gave us grace, forgiveness, and sacrificial gifts, even as our Heavenly Father has “freely bestowed” His grace on us in redeeming us and forgiving us our trespasses through the sacrifice of the blood of His Beloved Son. (Ephesians 1:7-9)

Finally, Grandma was known for her CARE, for others and for her Lord Jesus. Her concern for others was evident, for after raising her own children, she then was integrally involved in raising her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She babysat for relatives and friends over the years. She took in and cared for nieces and nephews who were not being cared for properly at home. She even babysat for a family friend who had three children, a boy and twin girls, until she was eighty years old. After that, until the last year or so of her life she helped take care of her great-great grandsons, Justin and Jordan.

She lived until she was 92 years old. In March of 2012, just weeks before she died, a picture was taken of five generations that included our first grandson, Erik. She had served her Savior well and would soon go to be with Him in glory. As the apostle Paul said at the end of his life, Grandma could also confidently say, “I  am ready…the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.” (II Timothy 4:6-8)

Grandma taught us by listening to us, praying for us, and giving us words of wisdom and encouragement. Grandma loved Jesus and her life showed it! She always told us in every situation, “You just need to pray and trust the Lord. He will take care of it.” Grandma was always an example of faith and faithfulness. Every night before she went to bed, we would see her on her knees in prayer. Every Sunday, as long as she was healthy, she was faithfully in church. When we were growing up she took us to church. She served faithfully in the church, singing in the choir, working in the church office, and teaching classes in the Christian school. My first experience serving in ministry was playing the piano and helping her with her three-year old Sunday school class (with thirty plus children) in south Florida, when I was only about ten years old. I observed her as she whispered words of love, wiped noses, sang songs, and taught these precious children about Jesus. She took “old people” to the doctor and listened to their ailments and complaints. She volunteered in the public schools, helping with arts and crafts and loving little children. When I was a young mom, I would call her with my parenting struggles. She would listen, she would cheer me on, and she would pray for me. Her life was a sweet fragrance of Jesus every day that she was alive.

I miss her very much, but because of her life and her teaching, I know that I will be with her again one day in glory. This wise woman, born ahead of her time, was born at the perfect time to be the mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great grandmother of our family. The matriarch of our family, she was our Grandma, and was also the “Grandma” to the many people who knew her. She was indeed a Woman of Wisdom, noble and virtuous. Today we honor her and “her children rise up and bless her” on this Mother’s Day.

“A virtuous woman, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels…

She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight…

She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy…

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and bless her…”

From Proverbs 31:10-28 (NASB)