Women Who Influenced My Life as a Pastor’s Wife (Part 1 of 2)

 

Women of Wisdom Who Influenced My Life as a Pastor’s Wife – Part 1

Proverbs 31:25-26

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,

And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

What does it mean to be a pastor’s wife?

When I was five years old, I already knew I wanted to be a pastor’s wife when I grew up. From my earliest memories, I remember observing and mimicking the actions of my pastors’ wife. In fact, I carefully watched and learned everything I could from missionary wives who visited our church to Christian school teachers and Sunday School teachers and Bible club leaders. Anyone from my church or those who visited our church as guest speakers. If they were serving God in ministry, I watched and I tried to be just like them. By the time I was ten or eleven, I even “hung out” with them whenever I could…I was a weird kid! I’m sure they were thrilled to see me coming. Hahaha!

In junior high school, I did my best to emulate my youth pastor’s wife, Pat. I babysat for Ken and Pat, and I tried to spend every possible minute with them, learning from them. They were my heroes, and I hoped that one day my life would be just like theirs!

Through spending time with Pat and other pastor’s wives, through observing their lives and following closely, I was learning. I was watching how they spoke, how they walked, and how they raised their children. I observed their attitudes toward their husbands. I tried to dress like them and talk like them and be like them.

You know, modeling is one of the best ways for human beings to learn! Children learn by imitating their parents. They learn language through conversing with their parents and other adults. They learn pronunciation by listening, thus their accents are developed based on their parents’ accents and other adults with whom they spend time. When our youngest son was in kindergarten, his teachers were Hispanic, with Spanish being their primary language. They included basic Spanish in the curriculum, and Jordan was able to pick up the pronunciation perfectly. When he took Spanish in high school, he could pronounce the words perfectly and naturally because of what he heard on a daily basis for his four-year and five-year kindergarten experience.

Parents who read tend to produce children who are readers. Children who are exposed to music early in life and sing on a daily basis learn to carry a tune at a very young age and tend to love music as adults. In many cultures, young people have traditionally served as apprentices to learn trades.

We are seeing more schools today that require internships giving students practical experience using what has been learned in the classroom. Those who are training to become teachers do student teaching. Physical therapists, chiropractors, and surgeons must practice techniques and actually perform procedures under the supervision their instructors prior to receiving certifications to perform medical treatment on their own. How often do you find circus performers such as trapeze artists and tightrope walkers who began their careers when they were just babies learning to walk? Often we find politicians come from a family of politicians such as the Bush family. Family businesses tend to be passed from one generation to the next, when sons and daughters grow up learning each facet of the business from childhood. Farmers raise children who are farmers. And whether you like his politics or not, Donald Trump raised children who became successful business people.

In Jesus’ day, the rabbis would choose disciples to teach and train. The students would come and live with their rabbi, “not to…hear Torah from him, but to watch him tie his shoe lace.” (It was about living the Torah, not just knowing it.)

Isn’t this what Jesus taught when He called us to be His disciples? He modeled the life we are supposed to live. He taught us how to live by His example. Then, at the end of His life on earth, before He returned to His Father, He commissioned His followers in Matthew 28:18 to “go and make disciples…teaching them to observe all” that He had commanded them. This meant teaching others, not to just to “know” the commands, but to observe and DO them. So as we go and tell others about Jesus, we are to live as examples, teaching others through our words and our actions to live out all that Jesus taught in the Scripture by His life.

When I wanted to be a pastor’s wife, I learned how to be a pastor’s wife from observing pastor’s wives. I asked questions, watched, and imitated what I saw. In my mind, as a child, my pastor’s wives seemed beautiful, perfect, wise, and completely poised, having the most exciting, glamorous, and significant lives. I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to tell people about Jesus. I wanted to serve my Lord Jesus in the church, to help people, to encourage people, and to teach. So I emulated them the best that I could.

My youth pastor’s wife, Pat, was an incredible role model for me. She was a young mom at the time who worked outside the home. She struggled with keeping it altogether (although I didn’t know it at the time). What I knew was that she took time for me and for the other girls in our youth group. For at least one year, she was my Sunday School teacher. Another year, she taught the physical education classes at the Christian school I attended, and I was in her class. She was our counselor at youth camp. She spent most Friday evenings with us, as we went somewhere with the youth group almost every week. We laughed a lot and enjoyed life. Pat sometimes took several of us to the beach for the day or out on their boat where I learned to waterski. And she let us babysit her little girls at times.

Pat may not remember this, but one day my friends and I made a decoupage plaque for her. It had a portion of Proverbs 31:10-31 written on it. I recall specifically verses 25 and 26 from the King James version of the Bible. “Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  Every time I read Proverbs 31, Pat comes to mind and I remember how highly we esteemed her.

One significant memory for me (besides the time my friend, Laura and I, lost her diamond ring in the ocean…okay, that is a story for another time!), was the time when the mother of one of the girls in our class committed suicide. Pat took several of us with her to the funeral home to visit this poor thirteen-year old girl who had lost her mom in such a horrible way. I don’t remember much about the visit, except sitting on a couch in the funeral home with our classmate, in an attempt to comfort her. It was one of my earliest experiences of being in a funeral home. I did not realize how often this would someday be one of my responsibilities as a pastor’s wife. Pat’s example helped prepare me for difficult times such as this that come with the role of a pastor’s wife.

I was very blessed to have Pat in my life for those early teenage years, and I am thankful for her continued friendship ever since. My family moved away toward the end of my eighth grade school year. I deeply and privately grieved the loss of my relationship with Pat and her family, thinking I would never see them again. Certainly I missed my friends and my life, but Ken and Pat were like family to me, and this was one of the most difficult times of my life. I had no way of knowing that one day, Pat and I would share a friendship in another city when I became an adult. This time, I was the wife of a pastor. My husband was the Singles Pastor in a large church in Atlanta, and Ken’s and Pat’s daughters were now young adults in our Singles class. Pat and I had some great times while we were in Atlanta. We both sang alto and were in choir together. Rehearsals, especially were a highlight of my week. Our choir director, Jerry Cline, was amazing, but was also incredibly funny, so we enjoyed a lot of laughter and comradery participating in the choir together. (As a child, I dreamed of one day singing in a large choir like my pastor’s wife and youth pastor’s wife had done in FL…and the Lord gave me the desire of my heart when we lived in Atlanta, even allowing me to sing in the choir WITH my youth pastor’s wife!) Joe and I enjoyed time with Ken and Pat during that season of life, renewing a friendship on a new level, with me being an adult and learning more of what it really meant to be a pastor’s wife. Pat has remained faithful to the Lord all of these past forty years that I have known her. She continues to disciple young women in her church, and I continue to value her wisdom and insight whenever we have opportunity to talk on the phone or on the rare occasion that we see each other in person.

As we get close to the end of this Women of Wisdom Series for the month of May, I want to honor this dear friend and mentor, Pat Mastin. Thank you, Pat, for being a faithful example of a wife, mom, friend, and pastor’s wife.

Tomorrow, I will share more of what it means to be a pastor’s wife and what I learned from another pastor’s wife who impacted my life in a very unexpected and delightful way!

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